Tokyo Hooters Plundered by Lusty Pirates!

-
PIRATES PLUNDER TOKYO HOOTERS!!!
First Hooters in Japan boarded by Lusty Freebooters





Cap'n BlackJack Dave and Cap'n Jack Wrong wit a comely wench

Avast me hearties and set sail ta plunder fair booty

Twere a lively wind that blew our scurvy sails westerly to'ards the fair shores o' that earthly paradise known in many songs 'n tales as Hooters. Hooters be 'cross thar way from the Americas where they be known for their wings 'n fierce love o' the hootin' owl. They be a-launchin' a grand ship in strange new waters known as the Japons.

Me lusty hearties 'n I boarded her midships 'n 'ad our fill o' grub 'n grog whilst our deadlights did feast'd upon the bounteous booty of yon hooterlicious wenches who shivered our timbers in a most pleasin' o' manners.

Cap'n Shag had brought wit' 'im the Cat-o-nine-tails ta maintain ship discipline. Afores we knows it, the wenches had the Cat 'n were dishin' out their own floggin's ta ones another. A most pleasin' sight ta be sure!

The wenches were o' the most comeliness sorts 'n our sails were a-taunt upon the mast. They did dance 'n cavort ta their lusty hearrrrts' content.

Not fer naught did they sing 'n dance fer I did tell them twas the poxy Cap'n NoWay J's birthday tho twere a good few weeks afters! Cap'n NoWay J were forc'ed ta flap 'is arms like a seasick gull whilst the wenches sang 'is ill-gotten praizes! Har! How he did threaten'd to keelhaul yours truly!

By the eve's end, the spritely wenches 'ad good reason ta know good cheer as Cap'n Shag deep in his cups carelesslee spoke - "Arrr!!! Keeeeep the change, me lass!" Thereby did the addled-pated Cap'n unbeknownst render'd unto them a tip ta the tune o' 50 buckos. Twas a fair trade tho, booty fer booty specaillee az tweren't me doubloons!

Arrrr!!! But by me black heart, good times twere had by all!









Cap'n NoWay J be enjoyin' a wing whilst a Hooters Wench tries ta board 'im

Arrrr! We all sail'd 'ere fer the wings, right?

Ahoy, Boardin' party away!!!

A Floggin' Good Time!

Arrr!!! But I's been a bad pirate! Do yer worse!

Permission ta come abroad grant'd, me saucy lass!

The Plunderin' of precious booty be good fer sure, me hearties!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Japanese Monks Cutting Bamboo Festival - Takekiri-eshiki

-
Image
On June 20th, on Mt Kuruma north of Kyoto an interesting ritual is held where Japanese Buddhist monks hack at thick bamboo stalks in order to drive out evil and ensure good harvests. The ritual is known as Takekiri-eshiki and goes back over a thousand years. The origin of the ritual is said to come from an encounter a monk had with two huge snakes in the 9th Century. The snakes were male and female and they no doubt saw the monk as a meal. The monk, however, was able to kill the male snake with a well-aimed prayer. The female snake pleaded for mercy and promised to guard the waters of the mountain. In the Takakiri-eshiki ritual, bamboo stalks representing the male snake are cut by sword-wielding monks. There are two teams representing the ancient provinces of Omi and Tamba. It's believed that whichever team cuts the quicker their represented area will have the better harvest. The monks are dressed as Sohei who were fighting priests of Old Japan
Read more

Japanese Children Sumo Festival

-
Image
The Sumo festival in the small town of Wadayama in Hyogo Prefecture may not have the most skilled sumo wrestlers or the heaviest for that matter but they make up for it with a lot of energy and for their grandmothers with cuteness.  To celebrate the autumn harvest, the boys of the village gather at the local shrine to wrestle with each other in sumo fashion wearing the traditional sumo loincloth known as fundoshi. Officiating them is a referee dressed in stylish robes of the Heian Period (794-1192) known as a gyoji.  The boys range in age from about 5 to 11 or 12. There is no ritual significance in the age of the contenders. It's just that most of the boys feel embarrassed to stand around in a loincloth once they start Junior High School.  The purpose behind the sumo event other than to give their grandparents something to awe about is to bring good fortune to the community. This harkens back to sumo's origins before it became a professional sport. In ancien
Read more

Japanese Penis Festival - Kanamara Matsuri

-
Image
The Kanamara Matsuri of Kawasaki, Japan is a cocky little festival where the floats would make a sailor blush. It's a balls-to-the-wall festival where zaniness reigns supreme with giant penis floats, unconvincing drag queens, people sucking on penis lollipops, and dick-themed hats and costumes. The origins of the festival go back to the Edo Period (1603-1867). Supposedly there lived a girl who had a demon take up residence in a certain part of female anatomy. When she was married her husband found out about her hidden inhabitant to his horror. In the process of consummating the marriage, the husband was castrated when the devil bit off the poor fellow's member. A second husband also suffered the same fate (presumably no one told him about the first husband). A local blacksmith forged an iron phallus and when this was put in the proper (or improper) place, the devil broke its teeth on it and thus fled. The devil-quelling device was enshrined and in later times lad
Read more